contradiction
my life is always in a conflict..on the one hand, i like new things and surprises...new things include mechandise and "boyfrenz"...i mean, i am those kinda person who xi xing yan jiu easily...once i get sth new, i wun like my old items..or when i managed to get that particular thing, i lose interest in it..
but strangely, i always hang out w the same few frenz i had since sec and jc..and i dun like to know new ppl...i dun like to start the whole process of getting to know someone all over again..which is why since uni, most of the ppl i know are just acquaintances...sad but true...i find it hard to find real close frenz from uni..but somehow other ppl can do tat..haha..
i can't find the energy to ying4 zhou2 my colleagues...it feels so fake..and i seriously dun like one of them...she gets on my nerves and seriously..kinda bitchy..bleahz~ annoying person..
i also keep repeating the same things i do everday...wake up, go work, come home, eat dinner, watch my tv, bathe and go to sleep..weekend go out, either ktv, play mahjong, play minimise, play maple, watch tv...omg...the more i type the more no life i feel..haha..but i think most part is just becos i dun dare to step out of my comfort zone..but..i am so "lazy" to do anything abt it...hai~
Monday, November 27, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
pissed...upset...sad...lost...confused...
pissed...upset...sad...lost...confused...
hmm..recently in a bad mood..dunno is it due to the monthly thingy or wad..but little little things can get me pissed..somehow i feel that it's more of a pent up anger that has accumulated since long long time ago..whenever things dun go my way or wad i just kept it bottled up and dun tell others...think it's kinda unhealthy..must try to talk to ppl more..feel like i am cooped up in a small little world of my own..but..tho i like small talks..i dun actuallie say the things that truely truely bothered me..=\ hai..
just now i got angry over silly things like my frenz commenting on my room being so messy and asking me to take down my zaizai poster(-.-)..i mean, wad i put up on my room is my freedom? the way they said it..like it's so disgusting to do that..? why can't they understand that it's reallie sth i like? why shld i take it down just becos they dun like him or sth? SO RIDICULOUS..i mean it's like reallie common to joke about it..in the past i would prob laugh along with it..but just now..i just totallie cannot stand the way they joked about it..reallie wanna just scream out "if it's that 'disgusting' then dun come..i din ask u to come~" there's a diff btw joking tone and the 'disgusted' and xian2 qi4 kinda tone...
i am getting so temperamental nowadays that it scares me sometimes..the frequency of me cursing and swearing under my breath is getting more and more..reallie not a good sign..dunno wad's wrongggg...>_< on thurs nite, i got REALLIE pissed when bao told me she dun wan to go vivocity when i alr set my mind on taking fc leave to go..i mean she was the one who got me all excited about it..aiya...it might seem minor..but JUST PISSED..sometimes she can reallie get on my nerves unknowingly and partly it's my fault cos i dun tell her about it..but still..tt doesn't stop me from getting angry..
sometimes, i feel so sad..so lost..so confused...like i totallie dunno wad's the meaning of life..wad's the purpose of me going to work everyday, wad's the purpose of me as a being?? sighz..
hmm..recently in a bad mood..dunno is it due to the monthly thingy or wad..but little little things can get me pissed..somehow i feel that it's more of a pent up anger that has accumulated since long long time ago..whenever things dun go my way or wad i just kept it bottled up and dun tell others...think it's kinda unhealthy..must try to talk to ppl more..feel like i am cooped up in a small little world of my own..but..tho i like small talks..i dun actuallie say the things that truely truely bothered me..=\ hai..
just now i got angry over silly things like my frenz commenting on my room being so messy and asking me to take down my zaizai poster(-.-)..i mean, wad i put up on my room is my freedom? the way they said it..like it's so disgusting to do that..? why can't they understand that it's reallie sth i like? why shld i take it down just becos they dun like him or sth? SO RIDICULOUS..i mean it's like reallie common to joke about it..in the past i would prob laugh along with it..but just now..i just totallie cannot stand the way they joked about it..reallie wanna just scream out "if it's that 'disgusting' then dun come..i din ask u to come~" there's a diff btw joking tone and the 'disgusted' and xian2 qi4 kinda tone...
i am getting so temperamental nowadays that it scares me sometimes..the frequency of me cursing and swearing under my breath is getting more and more..reallie not a good sign..dunno wad's wrongggg...>_< on thurs nite, i got REALLIE pissed when bao told me she dun wan to go vivocity when i alr set my mind on taking fc leave to go..i mean she was the one who got me all excited about it..aiya...it might seem minor..but JUST PISSED..sometimes she can reallie get on my nerves unknowingly and partly it's my fault cos i dun tell her about it..but still..tt doesn't stop me from getting angry..
sometimes, i feel so sad..so lost..so confused...like i totallie dunno wad's the meaning of life..wad's the purpose of me going to work everyday, wad's the purpose of me as a being?? sighz..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)