the toughest decision i have made...


today i have finally made the decision to move forward and leave my comfort zone @ pwc...i went to talk to pwc hr and my snr mgr ytd...


i deliberated over it for very long...shld i shld i not? but i decided i shld give this a try..a risk no doubt...but a new beginning as well..


went to talk to dorcas ytd and she spent most of her time trying to tell me the career path and how an expert in tax is actually highly sought after ( i dun believe -.-) and how staying here also has a lot of future..blah..anywayz i went to look for her to ask abt the procedures to tender...simple qn...long story =.= still say she sees huge potential in me during the uk secondment interview (excuse me then why nv choose me?)..do u know if i was chosen, there's no way i would quit? hahaha but tt's another story ...


so after talking to her, she said i shld talk to someone who has been in this line for a longer time to hear diff points of view...ok..i agreed..so i decided to go talk to ros..it was too emotional for me to bear...i only walked in talked for barely 2 sentences and i started T_T like tap lidat..non stop..she say i am so silly..i agree..but i reallie very she bu de...my whole year here...i have been working for them...like 3/4 of the time..i find it hard to say good bye...but i am glad that she understands and she is very encouraging..(imagine if i go talk to tsn, she will scream at me, scold me for being irresponsible and all)...actuallie maybe part of ros also tot so..but at least she din show or say...so i am happie abt it...she was so nice...she offered to help me write a testimonial...and also to talk to hr abt it if i need her to...she asked me if chging is reallie wad i want...actuallie i DUNNO wad i want..tt's WHY i am going to try out banking..if things reallie dun work out there..i think i will come back..altho quite hard to pull down my face and ask..i dunno..now i can't reallie see wad lies ahead..it's a big unknown...but i've decided to take the risk nonetheless..wish me luck!

i think it's not only the ppl that i miss..it's the whole idea of not being able to come back to this building, this office, this seat...(today's a saturday as i typed..the top was saved on fri)..even taking the lift made me sad...this will be the last weekend i will come back to pwc! hai~ am i the only loser that will cry so much when leaving?? =\ but just very sad...everytime anyone mentions abt it..i will start to tear...>_< ytd talked to my dad abt leaving, then he said "but i see u are so sad to leave pwc" then i start to T_T AGAIN...shit..just so emotional abt this..hai~ ytd also talked to shidah abt it a little..then also teared..wah lao..i spent my time in office tearing...zzz
hai~

but yes..i have finally signed the offer letter ie NO TURNING BACK..and i tendered alr..altho carol say that i have to pass to tsn in the end...cos james not in office till tues..which might be reallie quite late since i am leaving on 6th...so ...wish my GOOD luck manz..talking to tt auntie on monday will reallie be a horrible experience...i alr can picture the horrible scene..and i think i WILL..yes..once again cry...zzz freakz..i am reallie made of water -.-

anywayz i am starting on 9th...a little excited but more of scared and SIAN...cos i reallie dun like to adapt to a new place all over again..and i dunno if the ppl there will be nice anot...ade said the pte banker tt i will be helping is very fierce..>_<" i am scared...but i shan;t think so much liaoz...shun qi zi ran...just like when i first came, i also scared like hell but i have survived till now..=p yes! i just need some time to adjust~

maplesea 2nd anniversary at suntec city

haha..time for some more light hearted things..i went to the maplesea anniversary at suntec on saturday w ade and her bro..haha..so funny...we look so out of place there...2 23years old and 1 21 years old...lol..the place turned out to be pretty small..a little disappointing cos i tot it will be more big scale and more decorations...but no leh...only minimal deco...the top of the booths were mushrm tops...got blue, green, horned, zombie and the orange ones..lol...dam weird got red colour ones...and we were like thinking...maple got red mushrm..? =\ lol
the stage was for the gacha mob...(sth like bingo lidat) based purely on luck...the most interesting thing for me is the music played...lol~ all the maple songs...i feel like i am reallie walking in maple o.o hahaha...quite funni lahz...then see so many kids and their parents ... i think some of the parents also got play..seriously..haha
anywayz we din reallie play the games since mostly for kids and seriously, too juvenile for us to participate..=\win le also feel paiseh kind...hehe...so we onli participate in the gacha mob ...where we can just sit there and look at our cards...keke..anywayz, in the end, after verifying our acct and turning the zakum hand of fate (50 50 chance of getting hit or miss), ade and i both got hit on first try...ade's poor bro got miss on both tries =(...anywayz ade got a maple memo pad and i got an asiasoft water bottle?!?! the water bottle very ugly =( i very sad...i rather get memo pad...lol...
anywayz overall quite fun lahz...cos first time join real life maple event.kekeke...and prob will be the last time...
btw...a mini shopping spree in mango, i got a pair of jeans for 49 bucks~!!! hehehe...thx to ade for bugging me to try on the jeans =) ade's poor bro...kept running in and out of the mango shop cos every 30 mins is the gacha mob thing...so i think he went out like 3 times...meaning we spent almost 2 hours in the shop! one shop onli lo..haha..i am happie w the jeans i got..altho compared to ade, my jeans is nothing..she got a pair of jeans, a berms/shorts and a skirt...i tot the skirt was a bit pricey..63 bucks...but she say mango things...so i was like..ok..=\

read something on a fren's blog...suddenly, seeing the photo of us tgt...makes my heart ache...wad was written as caption made me even more upset...i dunno wad got over me...suddenly got emotional in the office..but i was facing the screen...no tears flowed...but definitely threatened to...and i reallie look hideous last time -.- i dunno what the hell i did to my hair..=.= once in a while, the caption will appear in my mind...and i wonder why i am so affected by it...i wanna forget..pls let me..

to chg or not to chg

i am in a dilema now...so hard to make a decision...i went for interview at ade's bank ytd...interview went well...she expressed interest in hiring me and even offered to pay off my comp to do away w the 1 month notice...she din reallie ask me much..just to get to know my backgrd a little...wad's the job i am doing also...very very short interview..like 5 -10 mins..hahah...i can tell that she is reallie in need of ppl...

but now...the prob is shld i?? i am reallie getting comfy here...altho there are still some ppl tt i can't reallie stand..but then...doesn't mean tt i go there, the ppl will all be nice ...and seriously i will miss some of the ppl i met here...=( tho i am not sure if they will miss me...haha

i am trying to weigh the pros and cons now...have to make a decision soon ...i reallie think this is a very good opportunity...but do i wan the chg? do i? i am confused..

if i stay, there's a stable and secure pay increment, no need to reallie worry abt $$ reallie...go bank, increment not fixed..ppl might get more than u..=x ...haha..i think i like the feeling of not being better or worse off..just being the norm...if i go to the bank and i get paid less than my peers next time..then i will be like dam dulan lo..=.= i dunno..

but this is reallie a good chance to go into the banking industry..once i go into a bank it will be much easier to go to another one next time..realle..somemore this time i dun have to go thr all the interview hassle...just a short one...so cut a lot of trouble...ahhh...wad shld i do?

prospect wise of cos bank will be much better...there's onli so much u can do in personal tax...
stress lvl..i guess will be higher in bank..but then think of it this way..when i become AH next time, stress lvl also dam high...everyday look at status..=.=

the thing is if i go, i dunno how is shidah gonna handle seagate..she will reallie cry lo..=( and li ling will prob kill me cos most prob all the work will go to her...shit -.- i dun like the idea of leaving them at this time...it's reallie quite a bad timing...if this chance came in aug, i will have less to consider...hai~ anywayz, going there means i have to adapt all over again lehz...i very scared of new environment...*shivers*

hmmm...actuallie over the few days i alr tot over it..if she reallie offers me, i will take up the job...that's IF...now..when i work, half the time i alr have the mentality tt i am going..which is bad =\ dun wanna get my hopes too high...

UK secondment...

it's confirmed...i din get it...boo...actuallie i am not disappointed that i can't go..but more on the fact that it means i am not as capable as the 2 tt got chosen...one of them is an A1 like me...=( ..the other one is my neighbour...so i will be seeing an empt seat for at least 4 months...saddening tot...>_<

then ade tells me she might wanna get a coach bag tt costs 800 bucks...which ie means she wun go tw le...boohooo...T.T

i wanna go overseas!!!!

只因真爱，公主王子，有情人终成眷属只发生在童话世界里，偶像剧才会变得如此美丽。。。
当剧情结束，回到现实世界时, 多了一份失落感。。。

入戏太深的结果。。。。。。

ktv session today was horrific...din enjoy -.-

when u are singing...would u like ppl to be talking and chatting? i dunno...i dun like it...selfish maybe, a little too over demanding..but felt so disrespected...but i also dun like the feeling of everyone just staring into blank space when u are singing...contradicting tot...=\ i duno leh...i got irritated...even tho no one reallie did anything to piss me off...mood swing i suppose...i dunno why i can have a sudden dislike for someone out of the blue..so much so that hearing the voice also annoys me...wad is happening to me??

i think the session went well for everyone else...if i din spoil the thing...=\ i dunno..maybe i selfishly wish that the centre of attention was on me...? maybe......but once again i find myself in the zone of not wanting to care abt wad is happening ard me..in fact, i got annoyed at things said that i had no idea abt...maybe felt left out too ba...i reckon if they have 1 person ktv at a cheap price next time, i might go... tho i sang the songs i "wanted" to...but din reallie enjoy it...some songs i reallie sang w full force, some i just can't be bothered...even my fave jia zhuang...fu1 yan3 de chang le chang...wad for?? to think i looked forward to it so much today.........bad bad..

btw..i am going for an interview for the UK secondment later...i am a little excited, a little nervous, a little scared and a little lost..cos i dunno if i reallie reallie want this..

just now during lunch, we were talking abt the work there...seems even MORE boring than here (that's saying a lot)..and they worked OT till 9+ 10 everyday! even in singapore i also dun work for that long..onli once in a blue moon kind..haha..oh well..i dunno..i think i am onli looking forward to the TOURING if i ever get to go~ but competition is stiff and onli 2 places available..ie NO CHANCE..hahah

oh well..if i dun get it, i wun be toooooo sad, disappointed no doubt but wun be too sad ba...can try again next year~!

i realise to survive in this world...u need to WANT to know wad's happening..u need to be a kpo...altho it's the total opp of my character...i try to make myself..more "interested" in the happenings...

actuallie i reallie dun like to find out what's happening to others (esp at work)...like when they are gossiping abt certain clients or wad...i am just NOT interested...in short, i dun care...but i guess this is bad...cos tt means no interaction w the other colleagues..=.=

life's hard...wanna be myself..but i can't...actuallie i reallie can't stand it when ppl chou4 re4 nao4 and act so nosy and san ba...ergh...=\ i rem got once i was w a grp of frenz outside...then 3 ppl (strangers) started quarrelling...arguing over dunno wad crap..then my frenz just happily stood there and watched..hmmm..at that point of time i just wanna get out of there...somehow i feel like i was given a chance, against my will, to peep into other ppls' lives...i dun like that feeling..i am sure if i were the ppl in the argument, i also dun wan ppl to be looking at me from the sides, those shi bu guan ji de yang zhi...=\ i hate all these noseparkers.. but now i look back, maybe it's a good thing that someone was watching also lah...who knows if they might start throwing punches at each other...at least there will be on lookers to stop them? argh..i dunno..i think i just need to "care" more of the happenings ard me...

well..wad caused me to write all these is cos i just feel that i am in this office, minding my own business...but this isnt gonna get me "far" with the ppl at the top..so in a sense, being "nosy" might be a good thing...=\ i dunno..i guess this is crap...but just feel so out of place suddenly...=(

another miserable day at work i guess..................