hmmm..today i had supper with some frenz..hmm..sth that bugged me was they asked me if i am attached yet..or do i have anyone in mind? honestly speaking..i dun..i dunno..somehow i am reallie not in the mood to share my life with another person..maybe i am just not ready..and i think i am so not suitable to be in a relationship..firstly, i love myself more than i love anything else..to put so much feelings into a relationship is just plain hard for me..cos i am scared to get hurt..i am very protective over myself..i'd rather be the one who does the hurting than get hurt..that is why my past 2 relationships nv end up well..cos i din devote much time into them..
yes..no doubt there are times when i feel like having someone by my side, someone whom i can always turn to if i am in trouble or sth..but..is tt love?or just dependency? a need for just a "someone" to be there when u need him? sometimes i reallie think that some ppl are together with another person cos they feel lonely..not becos of love..of cos there must be a certain liking involved..but i feel that the largest deciding factor is that they dun wan to be alone anymore..how true can the love be when two ppl are being introduced to each thr frenz with the intention to hook them up?hmm..i dunno..reallie very skeptical abt it..the true love i believe in is u will meet that person without other ppl's interference, when u are meant to meet him, u will on ur own..perhaps this thinking is very naive..but that is wad i feel..at least at this moment..which is why when my frenz offered to introduce me to some guys..i feel very reluctant..it's as tho i have reached a point whereby i can't find my true love on my own anymore and has to resort to matchmaking? gosh..i am only 22? but then again..22 is kinda old alr..haha..contradicting huh..i am also not very sure how i feel abt this whole relationship thingy..cos i am kinda used to having no one by my side..AND i am confortable with that..so..i dunno..maybe i reallie shld be getting a bit worried..but some of my frenz haven even had a r/ship before..so am i just being gan cheong or ?
i dun believe in everlasting love..and i reallie dun think i can maintain a r/ship from this age all the way till i am old..true..there must be love for a couple to get married but i believe love does fade..and i certainly dun believe in fairytales where the couple lived happily ever after..i think that marriage are sustained largely by responsibilities..it's whether the two ppl have enough responsibility to continue with the family..
In this world where there are so much temptations..i reallie dun believe that love can last..unless u live like a fool or u reallie meet a super nice guy..both are hard to accomplish..
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