the much anticipated xmas celebrations are over...happy that we managed to meet up but sad that it's over...i had my long awaited break (1 day off) from work...4 days of work free life is... dam shiok! no need to face the ppl at work, no need to look at the things at work, no need to breathe in the horrible office air...i feel freeeeeeeeee...as tho i was back as a student on holidays...but...4 days sorta flew by...and i am back to sq 1...but at least on mon, the atmosphere was christmasy, making everyone hardly in the mood for work...by 230, the office is 2/3 empty...onli our team has 2/3 of us still ard...bloody hell...technically she din restrict us from leaving but neither did she said we could leave...so it's back to boring o' work...sux to the core reallie =.= the more i am at it, the more i dislike it...hai~

today's wed, seems like it shld be a short week but 3 days seem so LONG...i can't wait for the weekend to come again...sad...but the arrival of this weekend would mean the departure of jy...sighz...it seems like just last month when u came back and now u are going back again...so fast...hardly had time to meet up more often...=\ we must go for one last ktv session b4 u go ok??

好久没有静静地坐下来聊天，谈心了。。。感觉好好。。。希望在未来的日子里也能常常这样。。。在忙了一整天后，跟朋友聚聚，聊天说笑。。。

it's fun planning our xmas party...i can't put my finger on wad exactly makes it so fun and exciting...i guess it's just the whole process of coming up w the activities bah...esp planning the shi zhi lu kou...i laugh till i got tears =P...reallie enjoyed tonight...=)

Work...

work has been...as i always said, boring...last time it was boring cos i keep repeating the same things (which every job is prob abt the same actuallie) and now it's boring cos i reallie have NOTHING to do everyday...i know i shldn't bitch abt it...it sounds simple doesn't it? sit there all day till 530, and get paid for doing so? but it makes life very meaningless...i have no purpose in life, nothing to look forward to...no chance to learn new things, no chance to contribute, no chance to SHOW that i am competent of the things we are supposed to do...if i have no chance to prove myself...then where will the pormotions and recognition come from? the change from pwc to here is big...there, i was recognized for the hard work, appreciated for the time i spent on completing my work, rewarded for the effort put in...here...?

i duno...i will be happie to get away w a little increment -.- that sux. i did the math...somehow it just doesn't seem as lucrative to stay here...esp since i din do much...what bonus can they give me? oh God...the more i think of it, the more depressing it sounds...AND i dun like the idea that ppl of the same rank can get diff pay?!?!?! i mean the job scope is the same lehz...=.= honestly...how can a fresh grad get more than someone who has 1 yr working exp alr??? such unfairness disgusts me to the max. alright...enough of whining...i reallie just hope things will improve la...everyday sit there and stare at the screen with NO internet can get very depressing over time...u feel very useless...maybe i shld start looking for a new job.........................................

weee...it's been awhile since i am in the mood to do anything except watch soccer -.- haahhaa...i have given up my maple alr...i just dun find the attraction of it anymore...esp when everyone i know is like taking over my lvl -.- tt feeling sux...take over then take over ok?no need to keep reminding me abt it ............
anywayz, watching Liverpool matches is my latest craze...which i am glad to have...at least there's sth to look forward to...=)

it's been 4 months....and i am still regretting my decision....wad a loser.

i am very happy(happy seems like an understatement) with the 8-nil win~ i reallie hope it's not a one off show but more of a start for their improving form...jia you~!

lalala...recently VERY into football so everyday i visit liverpool's website, every weekend i look forward to their matches...but so often i end up in disappointment...liverpool is not the strongest team i gotta admit...but to deteriorate till this stage? i duno wad happened lehz...one word to rafa benitez...pls get rid of voronin and put on a better striker...at least crouch proved more useful than mr wiggly ponytail...stop being blind and say things like sissoko is playing well? how well is that when u pass the ball to ur opponent or lose possession like 11 out of 10 times?? practise on ur passings...stop the freaking long passes when u know u will lose the ball -.-! common sense reallie...i can onli say they have been lucky...how long can they stay this way...?

ktv session was good today! cos only two ppl...singing almost non stop for 4 hours...keke...sometimes singing lets u release pent up frustrations w work...sing out loud...=) i like singing ^_^V and today's kbox so cheap! only 10 after all the +++ ...hehe...

and during work today i realised that i like guys w nice voice aka not too deep kind...guys w deep voice turns me off =\

i am in love with gerrard...i think i am going mad 0.o hehe

其实世界很大，人很渺小。。。我想去看看世界。。。很想很想
发现很多事自己不能掌控，好想逃离这个世界。。。

recently i have been reading Steven Gerrard's autobiography...actuallie i wasn't very keen on reading...so happen my colleague's husband is a liverpool fan and i mentioned that i like gerrard so ta-dah~ he kindheartedly lent me the book...i tot he just say say only, who knows he reallie lent me...very nice...after i got the book i was quite lazy to read it reallie...cos i was still in the drama frenzy...but after all ppl so nice lend me, i shld at least read it and show my appreciation ba...

well well...steven gerrard...how many of my frenz will actuallie know who is that unless u are a football fan...i dunno wad attracted me to notice him...is it becos he is liverpool's captain? i dunno...but just kan de shun yan bah... watching him play, somehow you feel and see the passion for the game itself through him...of cos i am not a super avid soccer fan...but as my likings for sports change, soccer has become one of my latest craze...i was kinda disappointed that he wasn't appointed england's captain when becks quit...but anywayz back to this book that i am reading...

the book is much more captivating than i possibly can imagine...becos it's so real, so true and honest...and he's actuallie quite humorous (in fact he's very funny, as i read the words, i can picture the scenerio in my head!)...i like ppl who are not afraid of saying their fears...inside, u read abt everything, even his "arrogance" shows...the confidence that so many westerners seem to possess which we asians always seem to lack...perhaps it's just me...i can nv be so confident and say that i think i am the best (but being modest is also a virtue ^^...) another reason why i liked that book is cos it's only till now that i knew that he and michael owen has been frenz since YOUNG...like reallie young, i see their photo i wanna laugh, they look so cute!! michael owen is another player that i reallie like...maybe cos both of them have those goodie goodie person look?? inside there are some photos of his family, his daughters and wife...i particularly liked the one where he has his arm over his little girl...so protective, typical good daddy...very heartwarming photo...

i am very impressed with his passion for football...i mean of cos when he writes, he will say he loves the sports blah blah...sorry for being prejudiced but if it was david beckham who wrote that, i might have some doubt, but coming from gerrard? i believe it with all my heart...sorry...can't help being biased =p why am i writing all this crap, some wonder? becos i think this is truly a book worth reading if you are a fan, even if you are not, i think you will entertained by it as well...after reading the book, i just can't help liking him more and more...=) even when i go to office, all i can think of is get off work on time to go home and read the book! i dun dare to bring the book to and fro cos i scared will damage the sides of the cover...haha...currently i have read till the middle and i am alr hooked onto the book...after typing this, i am zooming back to reading the book...=)

i dun reallie know how to describe the feeling i went thr as i read his book...cos it's reallie sth different...i was glad that i took the book from my colleague's husband...truly am...

for those non football fan, sry for this boring piece, promise to write sth perhaps more interesting next time =)

on thurs i learnt that one of my ex pwc colleagues' dad passed away...it's a very sudden thing cos just a few days ago i was still reading her blog and she was still saying abt how unreasonable etc her dad was...i heard tat he passed away due to a heart attack in china...i dun reallie know how to express the shock i am in now, it's a very weird feeling esp since i duno him at all but i am still in shock and disbelief that he's just gone..just lidat...heard that his body has just been shipped back on fri..
as for my fren, she was in europe travelling b4 her secondment started...heard that she came back on tues...hai~ i am just feeling life is so unpredictable...one minute he was all well and fine, touring in china...the next minute this kinda thing happened....i hope she is feeling alright, she's a strong ger...i believe she will be...

人生无常，请珍惜现在。。。

time to write abt my vietnam trip~
well...basically i wasn't looking forward to it lahz...just that can sit SQ reallie made me quite happie and can go airport..i love our airport :P anywayz friday reallie very slack cos no govt! all the pbs are gone and only left, ade, sy, ys, ky and i in the office...hahaha so ALL of us went out for lunch together, no one stayed in for lunch duty -.- haha...so bo liaoz...at 3+ we all packed up and left for the airport~ all the time i was very sianz actuallie...my weekend will be burnt in vietnam with these ppl...SIAN...after we went in, started shopping! woooooo reallie cheaper cos no gst!!!! ahhhh spoilt for choice! i so wanna buy my cosmetics and perfume and wadever crap there is inside...the airport is a REALLIE good place to SHOP!! ahhh but after shopping so long, i finally bought my first MAC product...a mascara -.- (p/s it's not very good)apparently we spent SOOOOO long shopping, the whole plane was waiting for us to board! i was so amazed that we are the last ppl to board! but anywayz on the plane i was spoilt for choice again...so much to watch, so much to play so little time!! cos the flight only 2 hours -.- only 2 hours still wanna sit SQ...bank reallie very rich...

anw finally reached vietnam..local time 6+ (sing time 7+)...zzz...supposed to have dinner at the hotel, but i so full from the meal on the plane (i dunno why ppl dun like airplace food)...
after the dinner..felix said to bring us to the night market...so off we went...zzz RAINING...totallie spoils the mood...have to hold umbrella while walking/shopping is very very fan...and the traffic there very scary sia...first time i cross the road reallie a bit scared...the motor bikes dun stop at all!!!! omg...scary. anywayz i dun reallie like embroidery and stuffs so the things there reallie dun interest me...i dunno lahz...was very bored and uncomfy the whole time...esp cos got the pbs ard...

anw...so much for the sharing room w ade and sy..in the end i still went back to my room w jh lahz...actuallie also no big deal..by the time i went back, alr 11+ local time...which is 12+ sing time =.= slpy alr...but i woke her up and in the end we chatted over some insignificant things b4 dozing off...............

Morning breakfast! yum! i love american style bkfst...altho no pancakes but got waffles!!! YUM...sat was boring cos in the morning we had "conference" -.- BORING...
in the end we skipped the tour to cu cin tunnel and went shopping but seriously! i dun think the things there are nice lehz...-.- quality not good...price also high...so in the end i bought a shawl at the mkt..and i cannot tahan the horribly messy and congested and narrow lanes...so jenny, lydia and i decided to go somewhere else...=\ in the end we went to somewhere near sheraton...first time in my life, i walked into a gucci shop -.- wooooooooo...they say the guy attendant very shuai...but to me, he's just tall and well built...=.= looks wise reallie so so bahz....then we went into the LV shop...o.o also first time...but i reallie dun see the point in buying such an expensive bag lehz =\ hmmm .......

actuallie i was a little upset during the trip w ade and sy...got on my nerves a few times..tt's typically me lahz..when ppl are closer and leave me out of the loop i will be pissed..=\ zzz
previously they told me abt their fren eunice and how they cannot stand her for the things she did...as they say, i realised i have some similarities w eunice..does tt mean i am as annoying as her as well??? zzz...sometimes i reallie think my character sux as well...hai~

anywayz at night we went on the cruise along mekong river...by then i alr sian dao wanna die liao...then got this magician come to our table and perform some tricks..some tricks he din do too well..can see where the trick lies...hahaha but over all still quite enjoyable lahz..

( ok i am getting lazy) bottomline is i din enjoy the trip even tho it's freeeee...nothing much to see in vietnam also...boringggggggggggg...the onli good thing is the mani and pedicure there VERY CHEAP...french mani is usd6, normal is 4...nail art is usd1 per finger...that's reallie cheap!!! :) but i regret not getting the nail art...arghh...crapping alr....i still have to go back office tml for some simulation for the new system (zzz) but at least i will get paid $_$

zzz just now was chatting w a fren on msn...

started the topic on singlehood again...is it reallie reallie so impt to be attached?? hmmm...like i said b4...no doubt i would like to have a special someone who can share my joy and sorrow but..i am reallie very lazy and seriously dunno where to go and find that someone o.o my fren ask me to go join sdu....zzz...but i feel that if i have to go thr such means to find that someone, it's REALLIE sad...:( hai~ but i think my social circle has shrunk shrunk shrunk or rather it has nv reallie expanded in the first place...bleahz...hao fan orrrr...

last tues went to tony romas with my pwc ex colleagues to celeb one of their bdays...
it's amazing how last time we nv actuallie went out after work...maybe once or twice in the whole 1 yr there...last time i din reallie feel very comfy going out w them but now i miss them like hell...i miss the times i can just walk ard the office and chit chat w them...not like now...just sit at my own place and work work work...:(

we spent abt 3 hours just chit chatting at tony romas that day...talking and bitching abt work..hahaha...it's amazing how relaxed i feel with them now...maybe it's reallie cos we are not working tgt anymore? i dunno...but i like that kinda feeling...很轻松...:) anywayz that day we reallie ate like PIGS! we ordered 2 combo sets, 1 pasta and 2 appetizers and a soup each -.- omg...even tho we are super full we still ordered two desserts! :D the desserts were nice...i like the cookie thingy w ice cream on top! it's very very NICE but not for those who dun like sweet stuffs cos both desserts are like SUPER sweet...名副其实的甜品! :D

then 2 of the prc told me they are going back to china for 2 weeks..o.o and another one is going to hk for holiday...ahhhh~ no one to eat lunch with me!!! :( sadded...
hope they come back soonnnnnnn~~~~my main point of this post is just that i miss them a lot! even just going for dinner also made me so happie....hai~ have i made the wrong choice?? have i...?

You Would Be a Pet Cat

Independent and aloof, you don't like to be dependent on anyone. And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don't care. You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands. Why you would make a great pet: You're not needy or greedy... unlike other four legged friends. Why you would make a bad pet: You're not exactly running down to greet people at the door What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

I am not called "meowie" for no reason u know...hhahaha...and i swear i din cheat...i just answered the quiz truthfully~

hello everybody~

i am back...recently so no mood to blog..but nonetheless decided to have a new entry...if not every day see that same post...very boring =p

wellllllll...ppl who were worried for me abt work (if there's anyone)...now i am getting used to the work...tho i still got many things i dunno..but the basics are more or less there le...getting used to the system (altho we will be chging it in jan -.-)...getting used to bloomberg, getting used to taking orders to buy or sell shares...getting used to calling clients and talking to them (altho some are still dam hard to please and fussy and stuck up -.-) but reallie lah...i seemed to finallie get the hang of things...looking back...when i was in pwc last time, ard this time i was also still blur blur abt a lot of things..

perhaps one major chg is due to the fact that my boss is more frenly these days...maybe it's cos some ppl are on block leave..and i feel more at ease when they are not ard...i dunno...hope things stay this way...i overheard (or rather just openly listened) my boss and another banker discussing abt the seating arrangement (like in sch lidat...hahhaha -.-), apparently there will be another banker coming in and i might be assigned to help him instead...according to ade, it's good cos he is very nice (i reallie hope the working experience will be better)..then i have to chg seat to go sit behind..near one of the bankers that i find rather...."unpleasant" to work with..she is ok as a person but when it comes to work she is a bit too fussy and like picking a bone in an egg(translate into chinese urself)...i dun like it ...will feel like i am being scrutinised at work next time since she is sitting diagonally behind me...

sometimes i think working for my current boss directly is quite ok cos some things actuallie she is quite shui bian one..somemore she is very snr so a lot of things she call the shots..listen to her sure correct..=) feels like i am starting to "appreciate" her as a boss...compared to my colleague who is working for the "fussy" banker, i actuallie think i got the better deal (sounds mean to my colleague..=\)

oh well...update again when i chg boss ba..hee..the other cra helping my current boss is coming back on the 10th...so fast hor? i so looking forward, she can teach / look after me..haha..and i so do not wanna deal with one client le..he is also like super dun wanna talk to me lidat...keep thinking i am cheating his money or sth -.- zzz

anywayz....going Saigon on 14th to 16th (i think shld be these dates, the weekend la)...not reallie looking forward to that...becos that means being STUCK in a FOREIGN C'TRY with ppl at work...why do i have to spend a weekend with them =\ i dun wan! i dun wanna waste my weekend.......=( hai~ no choice lahz...hopefully it will be an enjoyable trip ba..that week will also be kaiyun's last week w us as temp..dunno whether they will convert her lehz..i hope they do then at least i have another fren there! at least let her stay for another month as temp...=( once again i miss my pwc colleaguessssssssssss....boohoo....

today have been very busy cos ALL the cra not ard, sy was sick, ade and jiahui had avaloq training, ONLY me left..*stressed*...and the clients call and call ...SO MANY things to do...i so scared i screw up lo...or they ask me sth i dunno..luckily nothing happened...phew~ and boss in good mood...happy happy also make me feel more at ease...haha..dare to ask her more qns...hehe...

alright la...enough of work..

my frenz are finally all back from the US...=) so happie...finallie got more movie kakis...i rem that time wanna watch movie got NO ONE to go watch with me...how frenless can i get...?hai~ sometimes i reallie feel very lonely...wanna go shopping also dunno who to look for...sooooo in the end? i go shopping myself..ha.ha...tragic...i am starting to worry in the years to come when all my frenz start their own families...who do i hang out with...? scary tot.
when i got no one to go out with or dun wanna go out, i stay at home rotting and watching tw drama/variety shows...THAT is my life........PATHETIC..-.- ...hai~ erm..suddenly getting melodramatic (is this how i use this work...?) ...........

ytd went "yum cha" with my family...my treat =D

quite enjoyable..been a long time since we reallie sat down and enjoyed a meal together...everyone has been so caught up in our own world..esp me and my sis i guess...reallie shld spend more time w my parents...

anywayz..i wanted to take photos of the food..but i was so engrossed in EATING..i totallie forgot abt taking photos..the food was not bad =p..costs abt 18 bucks per person after adding in all the service charge and gst crap..ok lahz..at least the food was nice =) i reallie like the shark fin xiao long bao..yum~

before everyone starts to think that i am going craziee..

today @ work was slightly better...i din have as much queries..i hope everyday will be like today or better...hmm...a large part is maybe cos my mood has improved..u know when u are having that thing..can get overly emotional -.- i dunno..

but ytd b4 we went for the "dinner" at fullerton..sth happened at work..hmm..honestly..i think the fault is not mine..cos i reallie am not familiar w the thing..and i just did wad i was told step by step..hmm..so i was a little upset that she made it sound like my fault..becos i nv asked to DO that particular thing..is cos she told me i shld be doing it so i did it and i was given the wrong info when i spoke to that client...hai~and i reallie follow step by step exactly wad i was told...in the end..everyone tot it was my fault..i am not trying to push the blame..if u were in my shoes..u will understand wad i mean...i felt so yuan wang..but can't speak up for myself cos i will sound like an ingrate..so i just sit there while they "discuss" the problem...the wei qu part is..i reallie think is not my fault..=\ not a good idea to work w ur fren..it has its pros but definitely have cons too... but i think i was a bit too harsh in the previous post...she is really doing her best to help me =p i shld reallie be appreciative~~
aiya...anw the pb still said it's ok to make mistakes...and i was like 0.o wah...so "nice" ah? i tot i was gonna get it...hahha..but today i think i came close to getting it...hahhaa..cos she ask me qn and i was like "?" hahaa...luckily in the end i got wad she is asking..i can onli say she reallie needs some time to warm up ba..she's reallie not very frenly...esp to the newbies..i pass her things ah...she like snatch it out of my hands 0.o rude.
dun care le lahz...altho i still dun like that place..i will try to survive and fit in...=)

当生活没有意义，活着与否似乎也变不重要。。。

WORK...

once again i am here to bitch abt my work -.- after 2 weeks and 1 day there at the new place...i feel...horrible~ dun like the ppl..dun like the work...i even dun like how the air smells on that floor...=( then i looked at last yr's july entries...and i realised..i was bitching abt work @ pwc! hahahaha...the irony...yes..i know...it takes time to adapt again..but it reallie doesn't help when the ppl here aren't so frenly u know...thinking of the old witch i am helping...omg..i can go on for days abt her..-.-

she is obviously good in wad she does..i respect tt...but honestly...i think she shld keep her temper in check...she's freaking 59~ wad if she bursts a blood vessel or sth 0.0..ok fine..she hasn't exactly blown her top AT me...i have just witnessed a little of wad she is like when she is "not in a good mood" today...honestly..i was more disgusted than scared..she's quite unreasonable sometimes...i dunno how to describe it..but i dun like the way she treats her staff..they are HELPING u..not ur bloody slaves -.-

why am i so pissed w her? cos she treats me like i am invisible most of the time...she sits diagonally in front of me...my fren behind me..she can shout across ME to tell my fren to tell ME abt sth...WAD AM I? A WALL??wtf?! nvm...today she was a "bit" better..got call my name, she almost got the pronounciation right...almost...congratualations *claps*, talked to me like 2 sentences..hooray i shld start buying TOTO..wad the fuck is so difficult to pronounce abt my name btw?? she is a fucking chinese no? so full of shit! the other ger who came in w me is called jia hui..she can't get both names right..come out from her mouth, both sounds the same...is she bloody stupid or wad?she say her clients will have problem ok lah..i can understand..she also has prob?she is not the onli one apparently...even tho most of the pb can speak chinese..they can't pronounce my name properly...NONE pronounced it correctly and i can't be bothered to correct them reallie..dun wanna waste my breath on smart asses who think they are too good for chinese names -.- the way they joked abt my name..IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL..bunch of bitches..wait till one day I joke abt ur names...how abt tt?? if u can't get it right, then put in MORE effort...dun treat it like a joke..it's disrespectful and makes me wonder if she has just wasted the air and space for the last 59 years..

one thing i am kinda "pissed" is why must I be the one to help her??why ME? why didn't they assign me to the other new pb?? i would not have regretted my decision as much if tt's the case...i am a little disgruntled that my fren din actuallie mention this fact tt i am gonna be assigned to this witch!..felt a little betrayed..a little...nonetheless she is helping in all the way she can in my work..and i appreciate tt..so thank you for the help~(honestly she wun be seeing this as she dun have the habit of reading her frens' blogs at all -.-) but well..still wanna say ty lah...i know i have been quite a nuisance...bugging her every like 10 mins -.-but reallie takes time to get the hang of things..esp these things..i am so unfamiliar w the things i am doing =( i literally threw away all my banking knowledge the minute i stepped out of the exam hall for my last paper~

hai~..VERY unhappie everyday..u know the feeling of dreading to go to work??? i nv dread going to work at pwc even tho the work isn't exceptionally fun...but i have nv DREAD going...at most i grumble a little abt waking early ...but tt's part and parcel of working life..i accept tt..now..even tho i get to wake slightly later..i dun feel happier..i feel so miserable these days...i literally drag myself out of the door..i dread of facing the ppl there...i dread of the work waiting for me..i dread to hear phone ringing...i dread to think of lunch..(cos ade always eat w her classmates and i feel like a super outsider if i join them..and i dun like the feeling of like forcing myself onto others..actuallie real frenz shldn't be so ke qi..but it's just me..i am "ke qi" to almost everyone..i dun like to feel like i am a "burden")..the onli time i look forward to is GOING HOME..not even lunch lehz...tt's reallie saying sth...

sometimes it may sound like i am just picturing myself in the worst scenario and exaggerating the situation..but i reallie am not...last time, i look forward to lunch, i look forward to the gossipy hour after lunch...now...i look forward to the END of lunch..2 hours lunch w no internet and msn sux to the CORE...have u tried that?? have u tried being cut off from the rest of the world and having no one but ur colleagues whom u are not shou with to talk to ?? it sux...which is why i DUN talk..not kidding..i can sit there all the way till lunch without speaking a word unless someone asks me sth or i have to answer phone call...i am alr an introvert...now becoming a hermit lo -.-

u all may think that i have a fren there..things shld be fine..."ha.ha"...trust me..it's not.. i dunno is she dun reallie get the idea that i am NEW there and seriously know no one else except her to lunch with or she thinks i have SOOOO many frenz i can lunch w everyday?sometimes...i actuallie blame her...blame her for ever asking me...i know i shld be grateful...i know....but i still can't help myself..i keep thinking...IF...if i din leave, i would still be slogging in pwc no doubt..but slogging happily...no worries during lunch tt i will have no one to eat with...(does anyone actuallie understands the true agony of having no lunch kakis??got one day i actuallie have no one to eat w..lucky yz was in office...if not i have to pack and eat alone in office..it's very ke lian u know...i feel pity for myself..reallie) ..sometimes i reallie wonder if working w a good fren is a wise choice...i think it tends to strain the r/ship..like got one day i did sth wrong..(it was very minor)..she could have just not mention it when the pb who interviewed me ask me how are things...i mean..if it can be avoided..then DUN mention it..it reallie looks bad on me...u know??first impressions sometimes last very long...and ppl tend to rem the bad things longer than the good...understand how i feel? i feel like i was being betrayed literally...yes lah...probably she din feel there's anything wrong at all...cos she is more shou w them..but i am not leh...hai~ duno how to say..

i regret every min my decision u know? every min! wad better future? crap..yes yes working in banks reallie helps if you are reallie ambitious..and wanna go up the corporate ladder..but me? i am just a simple girl who wants a simple and stable life...now after trying out...it all becomes clear to me..i just want stability! something a bank can't give...there's so much uncertainties..i start to worry abt my increment...will i get much? if i stayed in pwc, i can get 3.7 by the 3rd yr..and come to think of it...i doubt i will get tt much here...seeing how niao that pb is...i dun think my increment will be much...reallie =\ can onli pray the bonus will compensate it...hai~ increment is always better than bonus lo...once it increased, they cannot say they wanna pay lesser next time but bonus is variable...get my drift?

but i shld stop thinking of the "what ifs"...cos even if i DO go back pwc...everything would have changed cos i DID leave them...it will be a different feeling i think...hai~regret regret regret..
stupid me...i dunno if i made that decision on impulse anot? no one realie offered any suggestions to me..all just ask me to decide on my own..i guess i was wrong..i tried listing out the pros and cons...but sometimes..one pro or one con can outweigh the others...why din i see that b4? why was i so stupidly into finding a "better" future?? is this a better future?? until now..i dunno wad i wan..i miss my stable life..i miss my pwc frenz..even if u compare work..the work in bank is more stressful..in fact it's very stressful NOW cos i have NO clue and everyday i face those papers w no idea how to go abt starting on them..CAN'T THEY TELL?? i NEED HELP...bank's work can't wait u know...one day might be measured in thousands..tax? there's always extensions..haha..aiya..forget it..i dun wan to compare..it just hurts more..call me no ambition..but i reallie dun like stress..i like a more carefree life..anywayz not like i going home very early u know..i am going at 7 these days...cos too much shit to clear, too much things to learn and remember.

one reason why i feel so resentful..cos no one seems to reallie understand how i feel...everyone keeps telling me...it will get better...it will..but how am i gonna pass the time in between now and the "getting better"..it's tough..maybe i am reallie one of those "strawberries" ( otherwise known as cao3 mei2 zu2 in chinese) very fragile and vulnerable..bump a bit spoil, squeeze a bit dent...i cannot take hardship..i admit..i am on the verge of crying everyday at work cos there's so much to do and so little time (we have time limit till mkt close) and i am reallie not familiar w the operations of things..u understand the agony and torture of doing sth that u have no idea wad it is abt?!?! DO U??????

i can conclude banking is NOT my thing..reallie..wad interest rates and exchange rates and shit..who cares?!?! i reallie dun...i have no interest..but they will become part of my life..in fact they SHLD alr be part of my life..disgusting..maybe i shld just go and open a shop on my own next time..when i earn enough tt is..hai~ very depressed...will i go crazy one of these days?! i am on the verge of trying to kill myself soon...it's getting scary..i feel so alone...so abandoned..and so mis-understood..so neglected...

ok..i think i typed a lot...as i typed out..i actuallie cried out too..maybe it's a good way of relieving stress...but as time ticks away..i reallie dread the start of tml..tml got a dinner thingy for the whole company..apparently they will say all the new joiners' names and we have to stand up one by one and receive the "applause" given..crap.

My last week @ PwC.. (including 1st anniversary of Working life)~

well..my anniversary is actuallie on 3rd july..but this week i have been so busy this week so onli now do i have the time to settle down and write a little on this...

hee..well..my 1st anniversary sorta passed in a flash...went to eat steamboat buffet with ee and yz at hotel royal..(not nice -.-) the dinner was disappointing but nonetheless got to meet up w yz and ee...seems like quite sometime since we reallie met and sit down for a small chat..=) so was kinda happie abt that..

that was also the first time i met tianyun's bf, delanny (i hope i spelt it right)..hee..just when i am leaving..suddenly feel like i am bonding better than ever w the ppl there...that day susan (one of the administators) came and chit chat w me and asked me why i am leaving etc..then jeanie yang also chap in halfway..it's weird..cos when i was there for the whole year..i seldom talk to them..at most is those hi, bye kinda shit..but...well..i guess when u are leaving, ppl starts to treat u differently =\

anywayz, main point is i have worked for ONE whole bloody year!!! actuallie it feels longer than that..perhaps due to the amount of work load...since jan i haven been going home at a decent time..until recently when i know for sure i am leaving, i have been going home at 6+..otherwise, it's mainly 7+, 8 and those horrible days of 9+10 at the beginning of the year..those were the days man...

anywayz this whole week i have been eating like a pig!! tues lunch aglio olio, steamboat dinner, wed lunch had ramen, thurs lunch curry rice, thurs night tony roma's, fri lunch sakae sushi, fri night zhi cha!! omg...SO MUCH FOOD...=( i feel bloody fat!

hee...i felt my whole week was packed w activities...hee..tues night go for anniversary celebration (yay!), wed night went to watch transformers w bao and yz...thurs night went tony roma's w my p&g team + chiam~ and i had no time to pack my things and it's friday!! =.=

anywayz..on thurs went suntec's tony roma's for dinner w them...sat ros' car there..(a little bit of awkward silence..somehow i tink she wanted to fetch ty instead..but welllll..ahahha...actuallie i din reallie talk much at the dinner...nothing to reallie talk to them abt..and when they asked me for a speech i was like "..." hehe...dunno wad to say lahz..so after that we went ben and jerry's...-.- actuallie the whole thing was just abt seow, ty and ros..onli the 3 of them talking..and i was like just hmm..kinda bored..=p and i onli knew that day tt danwei lives so freaking near me 0.o hahha..

FRIDAY - LAST DAY@ WORK...

boohoo...yesterday was my last day at work...i spent my whole day running up and down the building..trying to get ppl to sign that bloody clearance list -.- horrible thing to do...but it's cool in a way cos i nv go to some of the floors and dept b4...=p lunch went w sharon wang and ty to sakae...sharon's treat! (thank you sharon!)

well...finally handed over my seagate (GOODBYE!) and my P&G..a little sad but tt's wad it's abt isn't it? haha..anywayz i spent my last few days "guiding" the new A1 abt P&G stuffs..sometimes i wonder if i was like her when i just came?..someone tells u sth but the next min u forget..but i can distinctly rem wad i told her...i guess tt's wad snr feels like ( it's a good feeling) hahaha..well..i wun get to experience that anymore..

at 4+, li wen they all came to gimme my farewell gift, i saw the BIGGEST GG5 paper bag...inside is a bag =) kinda surprised they got me sth from GG5...happie happie..and they wrote me a card...altho they started with almost the same line of "can't believe u are leaving", the content was all very sweet and full of fond memories..i reallie like to receive cards w content...=D

but wad reallie surprised me were the 2 VTs, of which one i nv even worked with b4! they gave me a little farewell present too =) i think it's reallie sweet!! it's reallie the tot that counts sometimes =)

then ros they all gave me my first real branded present! a TIFFANY necklace~ *eyes sparkle* haha...but i reallie reallie din expect tt lahz..(no wonder ty said i will love my present)..it's a pretty heart necklace =) they also wrote me a card...omg..stupid ros ask me to read it in front of them..(cos she knew i would cry!! she knew it and asked me to read on purpose! grrr) true enough, just read like 2 lines...tears start to gather =.= so i closed the card but the tears still flowed..but no where near as dramatic as it was when i first told ros the news..=p so anywayz it was photo taking session..


CK, me, Ros


ros and me~


me and my lovely neighbour, STY..hehe
(see my necklace?? =p)


Ros, me and STY...oh man i am gonna miss them lots =(


My P&G team (w/o KEL =\)


Me and Sharon Chiam =)


me and shidah =)


my fave gossiping kakis! i will miss all the bitching at work~


my lunch kakis!! i will miss them lots too! =(

i spent such a long time packing my crap =.= in the end i have 4 big bags -.- luckily, chiam was there to help me carry them down =p... i have only been there for a year and i have so much rubbish..haha..and sorrie ty, i forgot to leave tuxedo sam to keep u company =(


well..i have officially left PwC..who knows..maybe one day i will return...who knows...but anywayz..monday will be the start of my new job..hopefully things will be well and all...*looking forward to the future*

the toughest decision i have made...


today i have finally made the decision to move forward and leave my comfort zone @ pwc...i went to talk to pwc hr and my snr mgr ytd...


i deliberated over it for very long...shld i shld i not? but i decided i shld give this a try..a risk no doubt...but a new beginning as well..


went to talk to dorcas ytd and she spent most of her time trying to tell me the career path and how an expert in tax is actually highly sought after ( i dun believe -.-) and how staying here also has a lot of future..blah..anywayz i went to look for her to ask abt the procedures to tender...simple qn...long story =.= still say she sees huge potential in me during the uk secondment interview (excuse me then why nv choose me?)..do u know if i was chosen, there's no way i would quit? hahaha but tt's another story ...


so after talking to her, she said i shld talk to someone who has been in this line for a longer time to hear diff points of view...ok..i agreed..so i decided to go talk to ros..it was too emotional for me to bear...i only walked in talked for barely 2 sentences and i started T_T like tap lidat..non stop..she say i am so silly..i agree..but i reallie very she bu de...my whole year here...i have been working for them...like 3/4 of the time..i find it hard to say good bye...but i am glad that she understands and she is very encouraging..(imagine if i go talk to tsn, she will scream at me, scold me for being irresponsible and all)...actuallie maybe part of ros also tot so..but at least she din show or say...so i am happie abt it...she was so nice...she offered to help me write a testimonial...and also to talk to hr abt it if i need her to...she asked me if chging is reallie wad i want...actuallie i DUNNO wad i want..tt's WHY i am going to try out banking..if things reallie dun work out there..i think i will come back..altho quite hard to pull down my face and ask..i dunno..now i can't reallie see wad lies ahead..it's a big unknown...but i've decided to take the risk nonetheless..wish me luck!

i think it's not only the ppl that i miss..it's the whole idea of not being able to come back to this building, this office, this seat...(today's a saturday as i typed..the top was saved on fri)..even taking the lift made me sad...this will be the last weekend i will come back to pwc! hai~ am i the only loser that will cry so much when leaving?? =\ but just very sad...everytime anyone mentions abt it..i will start to tear...>_< ytd talked to my dad abt leaving, then he said "but i see u are so sad to leave pwc" then i start to T_T AGAIN...shit..just so emotional abt this..hai~ ytd also talked to shidah abt it a little..then also teared..wah lao..i spent my time in office tearing...zzz
hai~

but yes..i have finally signed the offer letter ie NO TURNING BACK..and i tendered alr..altho carol say that i have to pass to tsn in the end...cos james not in office till tues..which might be reallie quite late since i am leaving on 6th...so ...wish my GOOD luck manz..talking to tt auntie on monday will reallie be a horrible experience...i alr can picture the horrible scene..and i think i WILL..yes..once again cry...zzz freakz..i am reallie made of water -.-

anywayz i am starting on 9th...a little excited but more of scared and SIAN...cos i reallie dun like to adapt to a new place all over again..and i dunno if the ppl there will be nice anot...ade said the pte banker tt i will be helping is very fierce..>_<" i am scared...but i shan;t think so much liaoz...shun qi zi ran...just like when i first came, i also scared like hell but i have survived till now..=p yes! i just need some time to adjust~

maplesea 2nd anniversary at suntec city

haha..time for some more light hearted things..i went to the maplesea anniversary at suntec on saturday w ade and her bro..haha..so funny...we look so out of place there...2 23years old and 1 21 years old...lol..the place turned out to be pretty small..a little disappointing cos i tot it will be more big scale and more decorations...but no leh...only minimal deco...the top of the booths were mushrm tops...got blue, green, horned, zombie and the orange ones..lol...dam weird got red colour ones...and we were like thinking...maple got red mushrm..? =\ lol
the stage was for the gacha mob...(sth like bingo lidat) based purely on luck...the most interesting thing for me is the music played...lol~ all the maple songs...i feel like i am reallie walking in maple o.o hahaha...quite funni lahz...then see so many kids and their parents ... i think some of the parents also got play..seriously..haha
anywayz we din reallie play the games since mostly for kids and seriously, too juvenile for us to participate..=\win le also feel paiseh kind...hehe...so we onli participate in the gacha mob ...where we can just sit there and look at our cards...keke..anywayz, in the end, after verifying our acct and turning the zakum hand of fate (50 50 chance of getting hit or miss), ade and i both got hit on first try...ade's poor bro got miss on both tries =(...anywayz ade got a maple memo pad and i got an asiasoft water bottle?!?! the water bottle very ugly =( i very sad...i rather get memo pad...lol...
anywayz overall quite fun lahz...cos first time join real life maple event.kekeke...and prob will be the last time...
btw...a mini shopping spree in mango, i got a pair of jeans for 49 bucks~!!! hehehe...thx to ade for bugging me to try on the jeans =) ade's poor bro...kept running in and out of the mango shop cos every 30 mins is the gacha mob thing...so i think he went out like 3 times...meaning we spent almost 2 hours in the shop! one shop onli lo..haha..i am happie w the jeans i got..altho compared to ade, my jeans is nothing..she got a pair of jeans, a berms/shorts and a skirt...i tot the skirt was a bit pricey..63 bucks...but she say mango things...so i was like..ok..=\

read something on a fren's blog...suddenly, seeing the photo of us tgt...makes my heart ache...wad was written as caption made me even more upset...i dunno wad got over me...suddenly got emotional in the office..but i was facing the screen...no tears flowed...but definitely threatened to...and i reallie look hideous last time -.- i dunno what the hell i did to my hair..=.= once in a while, the caption will appear in my mind...and i wonder why i am so affected by it...i wanna forget..pls let me..

to chg or not to chg

i am in a dilema now...so hard to make a decision...i went for interview at ade's bank ytd...interview went well...she expressed interest in hiring me and even offered to pay off my comp to do away w the 1 month notice...she din reallie ask me much..just to get to know my backgrd a little...wad's the job i am doing also...very very short interview..like 5 -10 mins..hahah...i can tell that she is reallie in need of ppl...

but now...the prob is shld i?? i am reallie getting comfy here...altho there are still some ppl tt i can't reallie stand..but then...doesn't mean tt i go there, the ppl will all be nice ...and seriously i will miss some of the ppl i met here...=( tho i am not sure if they will miss me...haha

i am trying to weigh the pros and cons now...have to make a decision soon ...i reallie think this is a very good opportunity...but do i wan the chg? do i? i am confused..

if i stay, there's a stable and secure pay increment, no need to reallie worry abt $$ reallie...go bank, increment not fixed..ppl might get more than u..=x ...haha..i think i like the feeling of not being better or worse off..just being the norm...if i go to the bank and i get paid less than my peers next time..then i will be like dam dulan lo..=.= i dunno..

but this is reallie a good chance to go into the banking industry..once i go into a bank it will be much easier to go to another one next time..realle..somemore this time i dun have to go thr all the interview hassle...just a short one...so cut a lot of trouble...ahhh...wad shld i do?

prospect wise of cos bank will be much better...there's onli so much u can do in personal tax...
stress lvl..i guess will be higher in bank..but then think of it this way..when i become AH next time, stress lvl also dam high...everyday look at status..=.=

the thing is if i go, i dunno how is shidah gonna handle seagate..she will reallie cry lo..=( and li ling will prob kill me cos most prob all the work will go to her...shit -.- i dun like the idea of leaving them at this time...it's reallie quite a bad timing...if this chance came in aug, i will have less to consider...hai~ anywayz, going there means i have to adapt all over again lehz...i very scared of new environment...*shivers*

hmmm...actuallie over the few days i alr tot over it..if she reallie offers me, i will take up the job...that's IF...now..when i work, half the time i alr have the mentality tt i am going..which is bad =\ dun wanna get my hopes too high...

UK secondment...

it's confirmed...i din get it...boo...actuallie i am not disappointed that i can't go..but more on the fact that it means i am not as capable as the 2 tt got chosen...one of them is an A1 like me...=( ..the other one is my neighbour...so i will be seeing an empt seat for at least 4 months...saddening tot...>_<

then ade tells me she might wanna get a coach bag tt costs 800 bucks...which ie means she wun go tw le...boohooo...T.T

i wanna go overseas!!!!

只因真爱，公主王子，有情人终成眷属只发生在童话世界里，偶像剧才会变得如此美丽。。。
当剧情结束，回到现实世界时, 多了一份失落感。。。

入戏太深的结果。。。。。。

ktv session today was horrific...din enjoy -.-

when u are singing...would u like ppl to be talking and chatting? i dunno...i dun like it...selfish maybe, a little too over demanding..but felt so disrespected...but i also dun like the feeling of everyone just staring into blank space when u are singing...contradicting tot...=\ i duno leh...i got irritated...even tho no one reallie did anything to piss me off...mood swing i suppose...i dunno why i can have a sudden dislike for someone out of the blue..so much so that hearing the voice also annoys me...wad is happening to me??

i think the session went well for everyone else...if i din spoil the thing...=\ i dunno..maybe i selfishly wish that the centre of attention was on me...? maybe......but once again i find myself in the zone of not wanting to care abt wad is happening ard me..in fact, i got annoyed at things said that i had no idea abt...maybe felt left out too ba...i reckon if they have 1 person ktv at a cheap price next time, i might go... tho i sang the songs i "wanted" to...but din reallie enjoy it...some songs i reallie sang w full force, some i just can't be bothered...even my fave jia zhuang...fu1 yan3 de chang le chang...wad for?? to think i looked forward to it so much today.........bad bad..

btw..i am going for an interview for the UK secondment later...i am a little excited, a little nervous, a little scared and a little lost..cos i dunno if i reallie reallie want this..

just now during lunch, we were talking abt the work there...seems even MORE boring than here (that's saying a lot)..and they worked OT till 9+ 10 everyday! even in singapore i also dun work for that long..onli once in a blue moon kind..haha..oh well..i dunno..i think i am onli looking forward to the TOURING if i ever get to go~ but competition is stiff and onli 2 places available..ie NO CHANCE..hahah

oh well..if i dun get it, i wun be toooooo sad, disappointed no doubt but wun be too sad ba...can try again next year~!

i realise to survive in this world...u need to WANT to know wad's happening..u need to be a kpo...altho it's the total opp of my character...i try to make myself..more "interested" in the happenings...

actuallie i reallie dun like to find out what's happening to others (esp at work)...like when they are gossiping abt certain clients or wad...i am just NOT interested...in short, i dun care...but i guess this is bad...cos tt means no interaction w the other colleagues..=.=

life's hard...wanna be myself..but i can't...actuallie i reallie can't stand it when ppl chou4 re4 nao4 and act so nosy and san ba...ergh...=\ i rem got once i was w a grp of frenz outside...then 3 ppl (strangers) started quarrelling...arguing over dunno wad crap..then my frenz just happily stood there and watched..hmmm..at that point of time i just wanna get out of there...somehow i feel like i was given a chance, against my will, to peep into other ppls' lives...i dun like that feeling..i am sure if i were the ppl in the argument, i also dun wan ppl to be looking at me from the sides, those shi bu guan ji de yang zhi...=\ i hate all these noseparkers.. but now i look back, maybe it's a good thing that someone was watching also lah...who knows if they might start throwing punches at each other...at least there will be on lookers to stop them? argh..i dunno..i think i just need to "care" more of the happenings ard me...

well..wad caused me to write all these is cos i just feel that i am in this office, minding my own business...but this isnt gonna get me "far" with the ppl at the top..so in a sense, being "nosy" might be a good thing...=\ i dunno..i guess this is crap...but just feel so out of place suddenly...=(

another miserable day at work i guess..................

20 years old age
10 years old mentality
30 years old body

i dunno how long before i will start to age...but my mentality is still so freaking dependent on my parents...i dun feel like a grown up at all...23 years old...sounds so old...but i am still behaving like a 10 years old...everything waiting for my parents to solve for me...it's time i be responsible for myself.

Looking at the VTs in my office made me realise just how OLD i am...being young is reallie so different..the vibrance...the energy...i reallie have no energy at all to do the things they do..and the things they say? i can nv bring myself to say those...it's beyond me...that came the point when i can't deny i am old anymore...look ard us...how many successful ppl are younger than us...i feel like i am wasting my life away..waiting for the end to come..my life will fade away quietly, peacefully as though i nv exist..sudden disgust with the way i am spending my youth away...i can nv be young again..but am i doing something hong hong lie lie so that i can recall back when i am older and smile at those memories?

i just read on the net abt a ger who died cos she was working for very long hours with the lappie on her lap...apparently...there was a blood clot formed and when she stood up, the clot flowed to her heart and she collapsed on the spot...scary...i dunno if that is true...but anywayz ppl..pls be careful...and try to take a break once in awhile while working...

once again..i am in the office on a weekend...today's a sunday...i ask myself..am i just plain inefficient? or do i reallie have a lot to do? hmmm...everyday i grumble grumble abt the load of work..but seriously...if i din spend time chatting on msn, chatting on sametime, surfing net..would i have finished them on time? =( i dunno...i dunno how to cope w my programs..P&G alone can kill..let alone seagate?? argh...i cannot stand seagate...i rather do other programs than that...it's so confusing and irritating..boooo..why oh why did they take away my other programs but left me stuck w seagate?? i am getting a little worried...are they taking away some of my program cos they think i am incapable? no doubt, it's a relief when they lighten my portfolio..but still...i dunno wad they were thinking when they did that..i can onli hope it's cos my snr mgr wants to lighten my burden..and not scare me off when i am still an A1...keke...
peak period so far has been...well..manageable...thanks largely to my colleague who sits beside me..every little qn i go bug her..^^;; i haven stayed till the lengendary 12 midnight...cos the ppl in my team seldom...usuallie only till 10++ so i am kinda lucky in a sense to be in this team...hopefully nothing much will chg when i become an allocation holder...=) wish me luck in july~

i am kinda regretting telling the world i signed up for the slimming thing..now ppl expects results..if there's none, wad will they think? snigger behind my back and say waste so much money and no results..? if anyone says that in front of me...i swear i will reallie slap that person..
some ppl ard me reallie dunno how to cha2 yen2 guan1 se4...ppl's face alr so black still continue joking or harping on the same thing...-.- *shake head* sometimes..i reallie cannot stand such ppl...they think it's funni then wad abt the person who is the one being teased??? very senseless.
bottomline is...i kinda reallie wished no one knew abt it...maybe except ade who can understand wad i feel =P but then again, she also scold me stupid ger T_T no one understandsssssssss...hai~..hope all goes well...i reallie wanna wear my sleeveless tops and walk ard with my head held high!

why are some guys so jian and lame?
i am starting to think that maybe we are seeing more and more gers that are "heartless" or behave like players to protect themselves from being hurt from such jerks......
gers shld reallie learn to protect themselves...when a guy changes heart(literally translation from chi) ...he can be totally freaking JIAN! when u see situations when the guy is a freaking jerk, u can't help but wanna scold that ass and beat the shit out of him...i dun understand how the mind of a guy work? no love = no friendship?? hmmmmmm...even if there's no frenship, u dun have to hurt others -.- total disregard for others' feelings just to get wad u want? equals a despicable piece of shit!

(dun worry..nothing happened to me :P just some tots on recent events)

hmm...recenlty one of my PRIMARY sch mate, sms me and asked if i had joined the Pri 6 class yahoo grp...

i was like wah?? i din know there is one and wah! primary sch one leh 0.o so surprised...

after that he added me on msn..and we started chatting..then i realised something...they have been going out for gatherings for the past few years since the last gathering i went to ( i think is right after jc?) so anywayz...i was a bit sad that i wasn't informed abt all these...then he told me there will be a gathering coming up soon and asked if i wanna go ...seriously? i dun wan to go...everyone has changed so much...i go there..i dunno who to hang out with anymore..but he seems very enthu abt it so i was like.." sure if i can find time off work" <<-- lame excuse..

after tt i joined the yahoo grp...gosh..i wish i nv did..i wish i wasn't informed of all these..i wish he nv managed to find me...i feel like i have missed out so much from the rest...like i have been living in a deserted island and suddenly rescued back to civilisation...but i have gotten so used to being on that island..i can't fit in...as i was reading their past msgs..i feel so sad..so sad till i almost cried out...i feel so out of touch with their world but all along they have been keeping in contact when i tot EVERYONE was like me..all have lost contact?! argh...

i dunno how to express wad i reallie feel..but i am kinda pissed too that they actuallie FORGOT to add me in the yahoo grp till now? i mean that's like...3-4 years?! wtf -.- angry sia...seriously i dun feel like going to the gathering but does that mean i am gonna let myself lost contact w them all over again? i dunno....i reallie dun...somehow i wanna keep in contact..but yet feel like strangers with them..=( help! i dunno wad to do...

i left a msg in the yahoo grp..like hmm...3 ppl responded...how kind -.- and i even have one classmate who kept my letter from 1997! wahhhh 10 years sia...dam cool~ brings back fond memories...=) but it ends there...i dun reallie wanna go see these ppl..i can alr IMAGINE the awkwardness of not meeting for so long...cos they still kept in contact so they prob wun feel the weirdness..but i can! ewwwwwwww...ok...i think i am not going!

ladies and gentlemen...i have made a big decision ytd to go sign up for body perfect ie slimming program!

hmmm...well...b4 i went for the consultation i was still telling myself...u must walk out of there "alive" and not be conned into spending money....but well...=\ i am sucker at rejecting ppl...reallie...esp when it's sth that i wan badly~~!arghh...stoopid me...

anywayz...i have reallie given this some tot...i mean...vanity is one thing..having more confidence is another...i dunno how to be confident if i am not confident w the way i look...yaya..self confidence not onli depends on looks..but hey...when u have no looks AND no special skills, wad's there to be confident abt?! i just wanna wear a sleeveless for once and not feel so inferior in it~my onli worry is it wun be effective =( ..boo...ppl who ain't fat aren't gonna get how i feel..seriously...besides...you can onli be young this once..i dun wanna live it in regret..money can always be earned..at most i cut down on shopping and expensive food~ i will survive...beautifully~

yay~ i just made a cake today..but b4 i can take a pic of it..my mum cut it up =\ booo...anywayz it doesn't look very appealing..but it actuallie tastes not bad! heehee..actuallie baking is so fun~ but the cleaning up isn't -.- maybe if i have interest in this, i can start thinking of doing it as my career?? muahahha...i dunno..still exploring wad i like to do...either i continue to be stuck at my current job, or i take up sth tt is totallie not related...like baking or make up artist?? hehehe...
looking forward to my next break from work..which is on 30 apr...sounds near..but seems so faraway to me...zzz..i hate work~!

have u ever had a dream..tt feels sooooo real..u almost believed it happened..?i can still rem every little details...the body warmth of the ppl in the dream...it feels so real, i felt "unreal" when i woke up...i wish it reallie happened..*wry smile* i think it's just the time of the month..i am getting emotional over nothing...but whenever i think abt the dream, my heart aches...

recently..the image of me smoking kept appearing in my mind...ppl who know me shld know how much i loathe smokers...the fact tt i am picturing myself smoking is scaring me...i feel reallie lost and i dunno wad caused this...i am a little worried...

self esteem has reached a new low...i feel fat and useless..=(

hmm..some tots tt i feel like saying out loud...

well..i am..and have always been a little disgusted with the way 2 of my frenz are behaving..like they are two freaking twins...i admit...it is a good feeling to be very close to someone and know that u can depend on that person whenever u need help etc..but their closeness has reached a stage where i find it revolting...is it possible that one day they can learn to be independent of each other...? and be on their own?
ever since jc, uni, now work..they have always been sticking together...it gets to a point when it's just too much! maybe it's reallie like fated for them to be stuck together..?i dunno...but ewww..i cannot take it..
excuse me?? dun u all have an identity of ur own?how can 2 ppl stick to each other like glue?? i cannot stand it..call me sour grapes or wadever lah..but seriously..i think they need to stop living in their own world...hello? du li yi dian hao ma??
there was a time when i tot i have gotten used to it..but i realised it is just that i chose to ignore this...cos everytime i think of it...they disgust me...so much so that i dun wanna be ard them at all...being close is fine, being close till u have no identity? i cannot deal with that...i feel like the two of them have become an entity..not 2 separate ppl...ewww...the sheer tot of it...gross...
maybe..just maybe i am jealous..how come they always have company in wadever they did? for me..i have always been alone...always...since pri sch, i went to my sec sch alone...from sec to jc, also alone...from jc to uni's course, alone...from uni to work, ALONE...everytime, my good frenz will end up in the same sch or course..always me alone...i dunno if that's called independent? or no choice? hmmm...but i have alr gotten used to doing things on my own, being on my own...in fact i ENJOY this feeling of being alone...which is why i can't stand it when the 2 of them are always doing things TOGETHER...omg...pls...get a life of ur own...they dropped f maths together, went to acc together, took the same classes, went for the same electives, took up the same job, ended up in the same dept...ewwwwww...maybe it's just me..but i cannot stand it...cannot at all...

The Phantom of the Opera~



Venue: Esplanade Date: 1 April 2007 Time:2.oopm

The 2nd musical i am gonna watch...
actuallie i wasn't very enthusiatic about it at first...all the way till we actuallie sat down..then i finally got into the mood of watching it...

b4 this, i have actuallie watched the movie a few years ago (if anyone rems)...so the story line is more and less still inside my mind...starting scene...the auction..
when i saw the monkey musical box, i was like wow...i reallie feel like i was brought back to that time...i dunno why..but i felt a sudden familiarity (guess it's the movie?) everything was like wad i remembered from the movie...when the cloth covering the chandelier was lifted, the music started playing..wah i got goosebumps from it...i was like reallie so "touched" i can't find a better word for that emotion at the moment..but i was reallie like...close to tears...errr..i dunno why..i guess it was mainly the music...it was well...for a lack of better word, cool~ =)
i guess the start was rather impressive..and as the chandelier got lifted up, we were brought back to the past...

the next scene shows their rehearsal of the play they are gonna perform... there's this prop, an elephant...when they turned it ard, there were 2 ppl inside playing poker..haha..down to every nitty gritty details..

i reallie like the songs...made me so tempted to go buy the CD..hehe..the props are also very impressive...i wonder how they did that...=) the candles on the floor, the boat, all the little things...very cool~

at the end, i nearly cried for the phantom...he is not evil or bad..but just someone whose love was unrequited...

they definitely deserve the applause...i guess this is the moment they live for, the applause and appreciation of the effort they have put in...*clap clap*

ok..i was a little put off by ppl who fell aslp..i was like...? excuse me?? maybe not everyone can fully appreciate the beauty of it...?i dunno...and there was a couple in front of me...making out -.- i was so disgusted by that...get a motel ppl...seriously..it gets a little distracting..if u dun respect it, then dun watch it..

More tots on bday...

well..without knowing...i am 23 alr...twenty freaking three...sounds dam old...then i look back and see my life...wad have i accomplished so far? hmm...i duno...i wish i have more clue of wad i am gonna do w my life..i am now just a happie go lucky person now....live one day is one day kind..dun like that kind of feeling...dun like at all...i also wanna have a RAINBOW DAY where i can see wad's ahead......

Late birthday wishes...

ahh..i have been so busy recently that i din even have the time to sit down and think to myself wad i wish for...i have cut 4 cakes and all 4 times when ppl ask me to make a wish..i din reallie wish anything...something like...everyone healthy healthy...safe and sound kinda crap...
but wad do i reallie wish for? hmmmm...for the time being, i wish for more time to myself...time is nv enough when u have started working...the 2 pathetic days of weekend...is just not enough...one day i use to rest then without knowing it's sunday..the horrible anticipation of monday aka start of work~! sighz...boring...boring life...
i guess i also wanna find that special someone to share my life with? although every now and then i will think to myself, do i reallie wan a r/ship or just someone to be there as and when i need? (err..get wad i am trying to say?)
well..anywayz the above was typed at 10pm in office when they suddenly off the lights...so it was a sign for me to go home...on my way home, i saw a couple arguing..i dunno if they are like together or wad cos the guy was quite rough on the ger...i think he was drunk or wad cos even though i wasn't super near them, i could smell beer...so quite scary..i so scared as i walked near them...but after that i think some ppl think the guy a bit over and went to help...as one guy held on to the drunkard, the ger ran away...i guess they are not together ? i dunno...then the drunkard got violent and wanted to fight w the guy holding on to him...zzz...dramatic sia..and i so kpo...just stood at the bus stop to watch as i attempt to book a cab..but well..once again, booking a cab at 10+ in this area proves to be an impossible task...i took train home..reached at 1115 ..my latest yet...all yz la...ask me to wait for her...then in the end tell me she can't go ~ grrr...but i know it's her mgr lah...can't blame her..
i guess i have digressed a lot from the main topic..but..well...my bday wish...have more time~~ =P

(added on 7 April)

i forgot to mention that on 16 Mar, my frenz came to my house and gave me a surprise!!
at first, i was talking to ade on maple then she told me she needs to go bathe and ask me to msg ks if she wanna pq at night...so i did and i din suspect anything at all...hahaha..they all very convincing...one side msg me and say will come online, one side alr on their way here..hahaa
then ee also msg me say she wanna come gimme my bday present plus cakey~ hooray
so she came and we were deciding if we wanna go give bao a surprise too when bao called me and asked me to open the door..i was like??? hahaha....anywayz i went to open the door, i tot onli got her leh..who knows i open the door and saw ks, yx, ade, zy and john..wow...big crowd..hehehe


then all come in and sing song cut cake etc...it was reallie a pleasant surprise...seems like i haven had a surprise for bday for awhile...hehe...so reallie enjoyed it~




my watch and cakey~

my 2 days in P&G...

just a lil backgrd, P&G is my main program so most of the tax returns i do are for P&G ppl..

well..i was in P&G's office in Novena Sq for the past 2 days..cos we had to go there to give a tax briefing etc...wah..their office very nice lo...we even went to the SKII office to take a look..like tour lidat..the SKII office reallie very nice, the front desk there is like a departmental store...very bright and white and ALL the products displayed there..super cool..for that office, they have a special pass to go, they only allow those working on SKII to have the access card..inside the office is reallie like a paperless environment, the layout of the office very nice..and very spacious...they even have those celebs who helped to dai4 yan2 SKII's photos on the walls...reallie BIG posters kind...and their window is like those whole length kind so the office looks very bright and u can look out(tho the view is nothing much) hee... but then again.. perhaps everything is still very new so looks very good..
anywayz, the rest of the office also very nice...u know when u go out from the office, usually there's a button to push, but instead of a button, they have this sensor thingy..u just need to either put ur hand or ur feet(for those who dun have a free hand) under the sensor then the door will open le..so cooL~ which i think is more user frenly for them since they always have to bring their laptop with them everywhere they go...very totful..
i think it's kinda hard to express how nice their office reallie is just by words...but if u ever have a chance to visit P&G's office, go to the SKII office on the 15th floor!! hahaha =)

well..i am now stuck in office on a sat..so kinda sian 1/2...but sometimes i like it on a sat...less disruptions and no snr breathing down my neck to ask me do this do that...=).. i wanna go on a long break and the peak peak is not even here yet!!

CNY gathering @ ks's house... (an impromptu post)

well..it's been a LONG time since i went to ks's house...MILO has grown bigger! junior looks the same, brownie still stuck outside as usual and there's a new found kitty (found by ks's bro's gf -.-) hahaha..oh well..me n lyn reached there first and half the time we spent there playing with the little kitty...*damn cute* and the other half we were talking abt maple..sry lyn if u felt left out..hee
(the kitty)
after that ade n yx came and we have enough ppl for mj! yay! but most of the time we were still discussing about maple...sry once again to those who felt left out or annoyed..hehee...it's just a natural thing to talk abt when u have so many frenz playing maple...hehe...

well..i think it has been a reallie long time since we gathered at someone's house for a slp over...so overall had fun...but somehow i feel that as we all start working next time (the others i mean), we wun have much chances like this anymore..saddening tot...hai~ anywayz, happie piggy new yr to all..tho a bit late but cny got 15 days mah~ hehehe...

I know this is very anti climax...but i suddenly came across this site and i saw DONUTS...so...=\

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Farewell...



a talented and beautiful gal has left us forever..when i learnt of her death..i was realli realli in shock...cos i was watching a ch 8 show when the words scrolled up on the sides announcing that she din make it....i din even read the words until my dad said it out.."xu wei lun si le"...so direct that it totallie caught me off guard...it's reallie sad and i reallie cannot express the impact of how this news affected me...it has been 2 days since she passed away..but i can't get it out of my head...everywhere i go, i think of it...i hear abt it on scv news...i reallie tot she will make it..believing that it is not as serious as the news depicted...but...
i cannot believe she is gone..vanished...from this earth..it's reallie heart wrenching...she had so much dreams, she had a bright future...her career was blooming...it happened so sudden...it's reallie so sad that i cannot find a word to describe...
sometimes i can't even bear to look at her photos...the last time i saw her...she was still appearing on tv/promoting her shows then...she's gone...*still living in disbelief*
i think to most ppl..it's no big deal...but to me...the impact is so big...so big...that i dunno why? it's not like i particularly liked her...but she is definitely one of the few tw actresses that i dun mind...hai~ cannot express my grief...even tho i typed it out...sighz...

NEW HAIR...

ladies and gentleman...my new hairstyle......after 5-6 years of looking the same!!!

(freshly cut hair...less than 1 hour old~~)

actuallie not much diff..just tt i cut my fringe...but well..at first when the person cut my fringe off..i was like "OMG I REGRET!" as he cut and trim..i was still not used to it...but once he removed the piece of cloth covering me..i was like.."hey it's not that bad..." hee...so anywayz..there u have it...my "biggest" chg in hairstyle for a long long time...next time i do anything...it will be PERMING!! heee..

now i look at myself..and i am slowly slowly getting used to it le..just that i think that hair stylist could have cut more of the fringe..looks a bit thin..zzz...=p but since i am not a pro..i shan't complain so much le...

now the problem comes..."should i go dye it to rainie yang's colour?" hee

wanna go overseas?

for a more detailed account of my bkk trip, pls see :
http://siete-7.blogspot.com/

hee...i wish i can go on a trip again..suddenly have a craving to go Australia..maybe cos i was watching Australian Open and got a small section, they showed Australia...suddenly crave to be in those kind of very relaxing countries...no stress..just sit back n relax...

4 years ago

(once again, copied from the other blog shared w my frenz...=P)


(Taken in Bangkok)
VS

(4 years ago... )

i swear we din plan this...but HOW QIAO IS THAT?? that it's the same 3 of us doing the same pose...?? i was kinda freaked out when i found out @ ee's house that time..so qiao lo?!? same 3 ppl..?! shesh...or maybe onli 3 of us are silly enough to attempt this "pose"? anywayz..i think the person who chged the most has to be bao~...i looked like i din chg AT ALL -.- i dun like tt kinda feeling... grrrrr...

enough is enough...i dun wanna live in the past anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeee!

sometimes i wish i can give myself two tight slaps and wake myself up...memories of the past always haunts me...and i always have the tot of "if only..." and "wad if..."
if i could turn back time, there'll be lotsa things i would nv do...i keep thinking and thinking of times i had in the past...but shldn't i move on and look TOWARDS the future...??

Bangkok trip

Bangkok trip

hehe...actuallie i wanted to post a long entry on this trip one..but i have been back for 2 weeks plus..lost the "feeling" to write le..hahah...in short, the trip was pretty okie..lotsa shopping to do...but think we not good at bargaining...din get much bargains..but the things alr quite cheap lah...shoes at 199 baht..equivalent to 8 sing..=\ i bought a cute flip flops at 50 baht = 2 sing..*faintz* haha..but somehow i din get much dangling earrings...more of studs...all in all, bought 4 heels, 3 slippers, 4 skirts, 3 bags, 2 dresses, 1 top, zillion accessories..keke...and the thais love HELLO KITTY!! omg...i also cannot resist and bought some kitty things..haha..


my zhan li ping...hehehe...still got others not included...those are the big pieces..


on the river cruise....


somewhere outside the temple of dawn...


part of the temple of dawn...


reclining buddha...VERY VERY BIG ONE..the amazing race came here b4..where they have to put coins in every pot...if anyone rems....


out first meal..at MBK...the place quite nice but the food so so..a bit like marche style..but also like food court...haha..that was the meal i reallie reallie appreciate coke...after walking for so long under the sun, the coke was heavenly!


SUPER CUTE AND B-E-A-U-TIFUL corner of hello kitty..i wish i bought one....*envious of ee*


look how scared we are of ppl breaking in in the middle of the night...=P


the x'mas deco outside world trade centre...very nice lo...bangkok's x'mas deco all very nice and more creative..can see there was effort put in...then u see orchard road..............................


DUNKIN DONUTS!! I WISHED I HAD MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...shesh..why din i buy more!!??


super satisfied shoppers?? hehe...i love the hello kitty bag tho i dun dare to use in singapore..hohoho


Bye Bangkok~~~

i think i will go back again...tho recently got bombing...=\ but the things there reallie very cheap, even their normal things in watsons, also cheaper
make me so tempted to buy A LOT of things back..hahaha...
btw...this is the first time i took a budget airline...no turbulence, no bad experience...in fact, quite steady...but i think for longer journeys i would still prefer to take normal airlines...well...that's about it now...hope to have more trips overseas with frenz...i wanna go taiwan with frenz..sure can shop shop shop toooooo~ hehehe